By Lindsay Britton
For the past few weeks, Mustache Monday has profiled some of the best mustaches in professional sports, both past and present. Now, we want to show you that having a mustache isn’t all about driving a Camaro/ attending orgies/ listening to White Snake/ having restraining orders filed against you/ being awesome. This week, we give you a look at the dark side of mustaches with:
The Mustache Hall of Shame.
1- Matt Hasselback.
The Crime: Informing the referee at an overtime coin toss that “We want the ball, we’re gonna score,” then proceeding to throw an interception that was returned for the game winning TD. In the playoffs, no less. He also attempted this feeble, Pink Panther-esque mustache, guaranteeing him a spot in the Mustache Hall of Shame.
2- Robin Yount 
The Crime: While Yount’s career numbers landed him in the Baseball Hall of Fame, his mustache never could keep up, being overshadowed by Wade Boggs and Don Mattingly when it came to American League mustache supremacy.
The Crime: While Yount’s career numbers landed him in the Baseball Hall of Fame, his mustache never could keep up, being overshadowed by Wade Boggs and Don Mattingly when it came to American League mustache supremacy.
3- Karl Malone 
The Crime: In addition to playing for the Utah Jazz, Malone also sported this deplorable ‘stache that was the envy of no one. Malone cited a Utah state law that forbid “mustache growing or anything fun” as the reason for his paltry effort, but our judges didn’t buy it, pointing to the fact that his mustache didn’t improve when he joined the Los Angeles Lakers.
The Crime: In addition to playing for the Utah Jazz, Malone also sported this deplorable ‘stache that was the envy of no one. Malone cited a Utah state law that forbid “mustache growing or anything fun” as the reason for his paltry effort, but our judges didn’t buy it, pointing to the fact that his mustache didn’t improve when he joined the Los Angeles Lakers.
4- Jeff Kent 
The Crime: While fist-fighting your own teammate (especially when said teammate is Barry Bonds) should put you in line for some sort of Humanitarian Award, Kent’s mustache lent him no credibility with the Mustache Hall of Shame, who cited Kent’s lack of mustache creativity as the reason for his Hall of Shame selection. One judge commented “He looks like a software designer. This guy definitely doesn’t know how to party.”
The Crime: While fist-fighting your own teammate (especially when said teammate is Barry Bonds) should put you in line for some sort of Humanitarian Award, Kent’s mustache lent him no credibility with the Mustache Hall of Shame, who cited Kent’s lack of mustache creativity as the reason for his Hall of Shame selection. One judge commented “He looks like a software designer. This guy definitely doesn’t know how to party.”
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